Showing posts with label Self-Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Help. Show all posts

7/22/2010

Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

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The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
9780061142826
$13.99

B&N Synopsis:

The long-awaited follow-up to her groundbreaking bestseller, now Dr. Laura focuses on how men and women need to understand and appreciate the uniqueness of masculinity and femininity; what the best ways to relate, caretake, and nurture each other are; and how to bring a marriage back from the brink of disaster.


Jumping off her million-copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura asserts that in order to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage, spouses must recognize and appreciate the polarity between masculine and feminine. Both husband and wife have power in the relationship, and each needs to realize this in order to ensure personal satisfaction. Using real-life examples from her call-in radio show, and giving real-life solutions, Dr. Laura focuses on the typical mistakes made by men and women in their relationships and shows how marriages can come back from the brink of disaster and divorce.

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If you haven't noticed, I kind of needed a break from the regular Romance and Paranormal and Young Adult books. I've also been needing to get some outside perspective on what a good marriage is... since I'll be getting hitched in... 45 days! eeek!

I've also been listening to Dr. Laura on the radio and I've heard great things about her book.

I enjoyed it. She's a straight forward, no bullshit kind of person and I admire that. Of course, with all radio personnel I get frustrated when she doesn't allow others to spit out everything, but I understand it and it's not always necessary. Anyway, she does have awesome points that I can agree with when I think logically.

She explains that the fundamental way to be happy in any relationship but  most importantly marriage is to make your other half happy. Give your all in to making them happy and feeling your love for them and you will most definitely get it in return. Unless they're a scumbag.

As elementary as that sounds, I was really shocked to read it. I didn't grow up in the super-feminist era of course, but I've definitely not been without the influence around me. The "I'm a woman, I can do it all!" mentality that creates more problems than solves them is absolutely prominent in school, home, and work. And without revealing too much, I noticed at home how awful that thought can be on the wrong people. It drives them to the edge of clinically insane and more insecure. Sure, women are meant to work, but where you work shouldn't matter. You can work in a boardroom or a home, and there's still an enrichment you can get from working at the one that most suits you. I personally would prefer to be a homemaker. Or as it's more commonly known (and said with disdain from others) a stay-at-home-mom. I have a while before I climb that mountain, but I know that's what I want to do without any doubt.

I'm not nervous about talking about this passionate subject, I just don't want to get in arguments over my "anti-feminist" views and whatnot... just because I want to be a homemaker... Which, btw.. I can't.. my fiance wants me to still bring in money, so I'm learning photography, wedding planning, and searching like a madwoman for a lot of acreage so I can start businesses at home (horse trails, camping sites, horse boarding, wedding --ceremony & reception--, etc etc).

Okay!!!! Dr. Laura's book has such great ideas. I recommend this book to absolutely everyone! I even gave it to my mom. I especially recommend it if you are about to get married and aren't going to go through pre-marital counseling. Another especially read is for those that are selfish with their own feelings, gone through infidelity, and/or thinking about getting a divorce (with kids).

It feels like pretty much everyone, huh?

Anyway. I give this book 10 stars. I've never been helped so much by a self-help book. Usually I look at it with my nose up and say "I'm better than that" and walk away. But I wanted to go into my marriage with a fantastic outlook and tools guaranteed to work. And I didn't have a good example at home. But I have the tools now. Make him my world, and I'll be his. Take care of him how he needs to be taken care of and he'll take care of me how I need it. Show how much I love him by doing things he can interpret as such, and open my eyes to see him showing how much he loves me in the best way he knows.

Read it with an open mind and heart and the intent to be your best and you'll get so much out of this book!

6/14/2010

Review: Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus by John Gray

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In case you didn't realize... this is not the "normal" reading material for me. But lately, I've been lagging on what to read. Nothing sounds or looks good. The current books I've been attempting to read have been, well, meh. Then, in case you didn't know, I'm getting hitched in September. So the books that have been of the most interest to me lately are self-help/relationship books. hence, Men/Mars, Women/Venus. I just want to make sure that my #1 and I are fully prepared before we do this marriage thing.

So here's the first of many relationship/help books:

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
by John Gray
HarperCollins
$14.99

Barnes and Noble:

Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.


Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Dr. John Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling, loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners.

Now available in its complete, unabridged form, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is an invaluable tool for developing deeper and more satisfying relationships.


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I had high hopes for this book. It's been referenced by all different types of people for all different types of reasons. I've heard many praises about it. Unfortunately, I found it extremely annoying.
 
It was repetitive. Like, extremely repetitive. He'd tell a story or make a point at the beginning of a chapter, and every paragraph afterwards would be saying the same thing over and over and over again. I understand that it's probably his way to really drive home the point, and open it up so that if you didn't understand it in any of the first 7 paragraphs, then you have a chance on the other 20. But I just got so annoyed, really fast. I tried to push my way through the rest of the book (by this point, I was on chapter 4). But I could only get to chapter 6... and I only read his highlighted points for chapter 5 and 6.
 
Another reason I didn't like it was because I couldn't relate to it. He explains early on that when he says men(martians)/women(Venusians), it may not refer directly to you. And that you may be more Martian than Venusian (girl), or more Venusian than Martian (guy). But most of the time, I didn't fit anywhere. And when I did, it was mostly Martian. Though, I know that I used to be Venusian before I started listening to my brain more than my crazy feelings.
 
Maybe he changed views after chapter 6 and I'm missing out, but he seemed to tell guys to change more than he told girls. I don't like that. It seemed like he was telling guys to just do what your girl says, otherwise, your life will be hell. And I don't agree... to do whatever the woman wants, and not ask her to change or compromise because that's just the way she is... is so dumb. And it vaginizes men, making them weak. And men are the ones that fight for us in wars. I'd prefer them not to be weakened by compromise.
 
So anyway, I didn't like the book. I didn't finish it. I'm returning it to the library as soon as I can to exchange it for some other relationship-help books... I don't think I really like the way that sounds, "relationship-help" books. Maybe I'll call them... "relationship-strengthening" books.. or something.
 
Ratings:



1. Cover +1
2. Hooked: +0
3. Finished the book: +0
4. Overall Feeling: ugggh +0
5. Re-readability: +0
6. Suggest to others: +0
7. Lost time: +0
8. Readability: +1

2 out of 10. Wow, I really didn't like this book! Did anyone else enjoy or get something good out of this book?
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